Scare Tactics

 A while back, when Adam was in the San Diego and my family was in the Rockford (Illinois) I was perched comfortably on my parents sofa in the Rockford (Minnesota). I had been given an unexpected vacation from everyone and everything (After all, I was in Rockford, MN). While on this lovely little vacation I made a very important decision after viewing a lovely documentary on animal planet. On chimps. On how intelligent chimps are and are continuing to evolve. The decision I made was that under absolutely no circumstances would I bring a child to this world until I was at least thirty years old. (Adam later confirmed his support in this decision.)

 

 Last night though, my dreams sought to prove to me that never, under any circumstance should I have a child. This is how it was done: Here I am in my dreams living on a comfortable picturesque island in the caribbean. A small island (Rhode?) but placed in a tropical abyss. Though Adam and I are living in this lovely haven, we are still poor and do not own our own means of transportation to leave the island whenever desired. In the middle of this very calming portrait, I realize that there is something or someone shrieking my name. I turn to look and see- a child, my child. I couldn't tell you the gender of the child in my dream, or even their name. In my mind that was unimportant information. All that can be stated for sure is that this child was between infant and toddler ages. I attempted to be a good mother in my dream, hold your child, comfort your child, be amused by your child, and occasionally feed your child. Try as I may though, this wonderful dream was quickly becoming a nightmare when I realized that this child's needs far surpassed the importance of my own- or so I must react to them as. I was now seeing my life as being stuck on an island, and stuck with a child. At one point in time, while Adam and I were returning from a perfectly mediocre party (one acceptable for the attendance of children) we realized that we had completely forgotten our child- at the party. Not intentionally mind you, but none the less forgotten. It was at this point in time, when I was attempting to convince myself that this was completely normal, all parents forgot about their children sometimes, I awoke and realized that I do not, under any circumstances, want children. 

 I realize that there are those who would believe this seemingly obvious dream to mean something much more symbolic, and that you need to read the signs of the dream in order to come up with its obscure and often irrelevant true meaning, but I am a blunt person (or attempt to be) and I believe my dreams are with me in that.

 Dreams caused me to realize that with a child, I couldn't properly live my own (dreams) out!